


Five things Diego Velázquez is forbidden to do

by belana



Category: El Ministerio del Tiempo (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 09:50:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12932727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belana/pseuds/belana
Summary: After s01e05 Salvador issued a special decree. An official document is a very serious business, but the Ministry employees seem to think otherwise...





	Five things Diego Velázquez is forbidden to do

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Пять вещей, которые запрещено делать Диего Веласкесу](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/343515) by bfcure. 



**Ministry Decree #... (2015)**

 

Diego Rodríguez de Silva y Velázquez is absolutely forbidden:

 

1) to write to art journals and engage in heated discussions with critics and art historians

 

'They started it' is no excuse.

Ernesto

 

I only pointed out narrowmindedness of people who can't appreciate the greatness of Picasso's genius.

Diego

 

Friend, we know that you think Picasso is the greatest artist on the planet, but not everyone agrees with that. Get over it.

Julián

 

I would have advised to start a diary for praising your hero, but I know from experience that not all of our loved ones are inherently tactful.

Amelia

 

Who allowed you to scribble in a decree? For the record, it's an official document!

(indignant) Salvador

 

Salvador, calm down. It just started to get interesting.

Irene

 

Where are you going, I wonder? What about the report on the Cordoba mission?

(displeased) Ernesto

 

Darling, for you I'm willing to spend a night in the Ministry.

Irene

 

Stop flirting in a decree! Shame on you!

(still indignant) Salvador

 

Dare I remind you that paper doesn't blush – trust the word of an experienced secretary.

Angustias

 

2) To write angry letters to art restorers and scold their manner of restoring his precious paintings.

 

But they're doing it wrong! The painting become too bright! I was obliged to tell them about the mistakes I noticed, restoration is a serious business.

With all due respect,

Diego

 

Let him. I've learned so many new words!

Alonso

 

Don't you dare to use them during a mission!

Amelia

 

I'd like to hear that.

Julián

 

When I learn who sends Diego's letters with morning mail there will be consequences.

Salvador

 

I maintain descreet silence.

Angustias

 

I didn't expect such behavior from you!

(indignant) Salvador

 

I'm sorry, but since Don Diego pays for stamps himself…

Angustias

 

3) To blackmail the Ministry in order to meet Picasso. Again.

 

I'm sorry, but I need his autograph. You took away the first one.

Diego

 

It was needed for the mission!

Amelia

 

You can settle for the fact that you managed to charm a fickle genius.

Julián

 

Politeness and courtesy come cheap.

Alonso

 

I must confess, you lack those.

Julián

 

And who stopped three duels in different centuries? The Pope?

Alonso

 

Boys, stop quarreling.

Irene

 

I admit I was wrong and overreacted. I owe you beer in that tavern in Salamanca in 1492.

Julián

 

Three beers.

Alonso

 

Deal.

Julián

 

Irene, sweetheart, that lady-in-waiting had been waiting for you for three hours. She was very upset when she left.

Ernesto

 

Ouch, I forgot about that. I'll fix it!

Irene

 

Stick to business!

Salvador

 

4) To return to his time and change details in his own paintings.

 

But it's much better that way!

Diego

 

Let experts be judges of that.

Ernesto

 

Are you implying that I'm not an expert?!

Diego

 

You are an artist. And your paintings are a part of world heritage.

Salvador

 

P.S. Don Diego, when you change a painting you change history and challenge the whole point of this Ministry's existance.

Ernesto

 

Don Diego, you promised me a tour of the Prado Museum, remember?

Amelia

 

Why I've never heard about it?

Julián

 

Are you jeasous?

Amelia

 

I just love museums, and it's boring to go there alone.

Julián

 

No one even thought to invite me. Some friends you are.

Alonso

 

Since you turned this into a chat room I remind you that the report on Lazarillo de Tormes should have been on my table yesterday.

Salvador

 

Oops!

Amelia

 

5) To sit all night through in the Internet and troll users on art forums.

 

I'm impressed.

Julián

 

Thank you.

Diego

 

Don't encourage him. I'll have to delete thousands of his comments.

Angustias

 

I won't give you a raise.

Salvador

 

Don't rub it in: Zorro has clearances now…

Irene

 

By the way, it's unhealthy to spend nights in front of a computer. It's bad for eyes. And eyes are the main tool of a painter.

Ernesto

 

Please, don't throw away old composite portraits by Velázquez. Isabel Marquez from Logistics collects those.

Angustias

 

Is she cute?

Irene

 

Irene, behave yourself.

Ernesto

 

Not going to happen. What's Isabel's phone number?

Irene

 

Let's get back to the point. We should remember that this is an official Ministry document.

Salvador

 

Alright. I already stamped and registered it anyway.

Angustias

 

The decree is binding and not reversible.

 

Diego Rodríguez de Silva y Velázquez have read and understood this decree.

 

Signed: Salvador Marti, the Head of the Ministry


End file.
